What If I Told You… You Might Be Addicted Too?

When you hear the word addiction, what comes to mind? Your first reaction might be, "Not me. I'm not a drug addict, alcoholic, gambler, or smoker, so I'm not an addict."

But what if we dove a little deeper—beyond substances—and looked at addiction as a broader pattern of behavior?

Rethinking Addiction

According to the Oxford Dictionary, addiction is "the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity." Merriam-Webster expands this definition to "a strong inclination to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly."

So, what if addiction is simply a behavior pattern that no longer serves its intended purpose—one you wish to stop, but can’t?

Patterns We Don’t Often See as Addictions

When you think about the behaviors you'd like to change in your life, what comes to mind?

For me, I noticed patterns like:

• People-pleasing (fawning)

• Giving away my power (acquiescing)

• Seeking external approval

• Self-forgetting

• Over-giving in order to feel like I belong

Some of my clients struggle with different habitual patterns: perfectionism, procrastination, self-sabotage, trust issues—or some combination of these.

These aren't random. They're coping mechanisms we developed as children. Often, they helped us survive trauma or simply meet the expectations of family, culture, or society.

How These Patterns Start

In school, we may have been pushed to excel—so we adopted perfectionism to earn approval. Others might have responded by procrastinating or self-sabotaging, as a shield against failure and judgment. Some even learned to avoid high expectations by getting sick or creating distractions.

Personally, I learned that being "selfish" was a sin—an idea shaped by my Christian upbringing. As a woman, I also absorbed the belief that I should be agreeable and self-sacrificing. I developed a habit of over-giving, using it to earn love and a sense of belonging. I didn’t learn to trust my own inner compass.

None of these patterns are inherently bad. In fact, many have helped us succeed. Perfectionism can drive excellence. Over-giving can foster generosity and kindness. But the question is—are these patterns still serving you?

Are You Addicted to a Pattern?

If you're stuck in behaviors you know aren’t healthy—or simply don’t align with who you are anymore—yet you find them hard to stop, you might be dealing with a different kind of addiction. A habitual way of being. A well-worn path your nervous system keeps choosing, even when your heart wants something different.

And here's the good news: you can change. No matter your age or your past, you can choose something new.

Check out my next blog post to learn:

The 4 Phases of Reclaiming Your Life